Your kids are beautiful.

A chance meeting with a friend a few days ago, brightened my attitude more than expected.

I had just gotten back from an MRI; mentally I needed to get some exercise and get my mind off of the fact that I’m in need of yet another look at my knee by professionals.  Once inside the gym, I saw a friend; one that I had been pretty close to at one time for a short period.  We talked for several minutes about knee injuries and recovering from them; I met his wife for the first time; and I was able to get a good boost of positive feelings from this conversation.  He’s a very positive person.

As I worked my knee on the bike, I thought about our conversation and how things could turn out very differently than the negative way I was portraying them to now be.  The outcome of the MRI was uncertain and it scared me.

Just before he left, he pointed at me and hollered across the room, “Your kids are beautiful”, and he started to walk towards the door.  The whole room turned to look at me, all of them smiling.  My first thought was to look at them and say, “They really are”, but instead I looked back at Mark and said, “Thank you, they enjoy seeing you every week”.

I didn’t think much more about my knee the rest of the day.  I thought about my kids and my wife.  I thought about how much they mean to me and no matter how messed up my knee is, I still have them in my life.  I’m more thankful for those three kids and my beautiful wife than I ever could be for a knee.

What are you thankful for this week?

 

…running through my mind…

I’m starting to Listen

Lately during our Sunday School hour at church, I have been hanging out, drinking coffee and chit-chatting with anyone that will listen about weather and other non-essential crap.  I have not really had a home during this hour at church for some time. 

I attended a familiar class this morning though.

Normally I offer up my opinion and/or help lead whatever class I’m involved with, in some sort of discussion.  This morning though, I listened.  Listened to others opinions.  Listened to others thoughts.  Listened to others stories.  Listened to others struggles.  Listened to others joys.  I just Listened.  I walked out of there, feeling better than I have in quite a while – while at church.

I have been in a searching mode lately at this church; searching if I want to help lead a group again, or just be a participant for a while; searching if I want to stay where I am; searching if my faith and what I believe actually fit in with the people who I’m around; just plain searching.

As I ran today, I attempted to shape these two together.  Searching and Listening.

I realize now, I could not even attempt to discern what I’m looking for if I’m not listening.  I can complain that things are not the way they should be, yet never truly see how they are if I am not listening.  I can read book after book and not really know what any of those books are saying, if I am not listening for the message the authors are trying to reveal.  I will continue to search forever – in vain, if I don’t start listening.  

You see, sometimes I am thinking about a rebuttal while someone else is talking.  Other times I’m thinking about how I’m going to cut this conversation short, because I’m not interested in the dialogue in the first place.  And still other times, I’m not even hearing what the other person is saying.  I did just that this morning after leaving church (it takes things a while to take hold in this head of mine) while my daughter was talking.  I have no idea what she said – still.  I do listen to people, but not nearly enough, and from what I’ve learned today – I’m not listening to the people that matter. 

Listening to the other people in the class, helped me realize that we are not so far apart.  I saw a person express something very deep, something she believes in with everything she has;  only to have a second person voice that he could not understand how she could believe that way.  What followed was an unbelievable  display of mercy and grace from her friends, coming to her defense in a way that did not degrade the other person.  I heard another person talk about what they try to do for our community now that it seems like 1/4 of everyone is out of jobs.  This person shared some deep personal feelings with us.  It connected me to them.  If I would have been preparing my rebuttal, contriving my exit, or even thinking about the Kansas City Chiefs,……I would have missed it……….I would have missed it.

As I pressed on towards my last mile today, I found it interesting that the people in my life that I respect and value the most, have a common trait.  They all listen.  Also compelling is that these are the people who have the most influence with me.  They don’t stop with listening though.  They ask follow-up questions to more understand where I’m coming from.  They don’t talk too much, they allow the back and forth conversation that usually happens when two people have respect for each other.  And they always have some sort of positive feedback, even if they just called me out on something.  None of this can happen though, if I’m not listening.

I’m starting to listen.

…running through my mind…