One Body, Many Parts

How often does an hour or two during your life end up surprising you?

A couple hours of my day honestly surprised me today.

This morning I met a friend for coffee and a quick breakfast.  We had made plans last week to meet and discuss some stuff we had briefly exchanged views on.  Because of this previous huddle, I figured that I knew what we are going to talk about.

I really should not “figure” on situations like this.

The first half hour was catching up on his children and an exploration of his family’s summer vacation.  Soon the conversation turned to a book that we have both read, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”, by Donald Miller.

I gained much from this conversation.

Here is what I gained:

• there are many different parts of any endeavor and if any of those parts are missing, there will be failure
• many times in order to see your dream realized you have to give it up and let it become someone else’s dream or morph into someone else’s dream or vision
• there isn’t a whole lot in life you can accomplish all by yourself

As the day went on, as usual, I forgot about our conversation until I sat down after dinner and reminisced on the morning.  I gained much and I’m glad I had a chance tonight to sit down and get those thoughts onto something that will be be more permanent than my mind.

The next time someone asks you for coffee and you think you know what the discussion will be about, I invite you to go into it with no assumptions.

When was the last time life surprised you?

…running through my mind…

I’m starting to Listen

Lately during our Sunday School hour at church, I have been hanging out, drinking coffee and chit-chatting with anyone that will listen about weather and other non-essential crap.  I have not really had a home during this hour at church for some time. 

I attended a familiar class this morning though.

Normally I offer up my opinion and/or help lead whatever class I’m involved with, in some sort of discussion.  This morning though, I listened.  Listened to others opinions.  Listened to others thoughts.  Listened to others stories.  Listened to others struggles.  Listened to others joys.  I just Listened.  I walked out of there, feeling better than I have in quite a while – while at church.

I have been in a searching mode lately at this church; searching if I want to help lead a group again, or just be a participant for a while; searching if I want to stay where I am; searching if my faith and what I believe actually fit in with the people who I’m around; just plain searching.

As I ran today, I attempted to shape these two together.  Searching and Listening.

I realize now, I could not even attempt to discern what I’m looking for if I’m not listening.  I can complain that things are not the way they should be, yet never truly see how they are if I am not listening.  I can read book after book and not really know what any of those books are saying, if I am not listening for the message the authors are trying to reveal.  I will continue to search forever – in vain, if I don’t start listening.  

You see, sometimes I am thinking about a rebuttal while someone else is talking.  Other times I’m thinking about how I’m going to cut this conversation short, because I’m not interested in the dialogue in the first place.  And still other times, I’m not even hearing what the other person is saying.  I did just that this morning after leaving church (it takes things a while to take hold in this head of mine) while my daughter was talking.  I have no idea what she said – still.  I do listen to people, but not nearly enough, and from what I’ve learned today – I’m not listening to the people that matter. 

Listening to the other people in the class, helped me realize that we are not so far apart.  I saw a person express something very deep, something she believes in with everything she has;  only to have a second person voice that he could not understand how she could believe that way.  What followed was an unbelievable  display of mercy and grace from her friends, coming to her defense in a way that did not degrade the other person.  I heard another person talk about what they try to do for our community now that it seems like 1/4 of everyone is out of jobs.  This person shared some deep personal feelings with us.  It connected me to them.  If I would have been preparing my rebuttal, contriving my exit, or even thinking about the Kansas City Chiefs,……I would have missed it……….I would have missed it.

As I pressed on towards my last mile today, I found it interesting that the people in my life that I respect and value the most, have a common trait.  They all listen.  Also compelling is that these are the people who have the most influence with me.  They don’t stop with listening though.  They ask follow-up questions to more understand where I’m coming from.  They don’t talk too much, they allow the back and forth conversation that usually happens when two people have respect for each other.  And they always have some sort of positive feedback, even if they just called me out on something.  None of this can happen though, if I’m not listening.

I’m starting to listen.

…running through my mind…

A beautiful day

Yesterday was not exactly what I’d call a beautiful day. 

Don’t get me wrong the weather in Kansas City was awesome, perfect weather for us to browse around at a small pumpkin patch at a church in town and buy a few pumpkins to carve later in the week.  The weather was awesome enough to play outside once we got home, also awesome enough for me to walk around the neighborhood in shorts and a shirt after sunset with our children to look at the Halloween decorations that many of our neighbors display.

I was able to have coffee with a friend that I do not spend enough time with.  We were able to catch up and then be there for each other during a tough time in my life yesterday morning and from talking to him later, it was a tough time in his life as well. 

I was able to watch my children get balloons made for them at Red Robin; a Heart, a Monkey and a Shark.  The smiles on their faces were priceless.  I got to hear my youngest daughter laugh like she was going to stop breathing when all three of them were throwing balloons at each other during the car ride home. 

I was blessed to receive numberous text messages, emails, and calls from people who are close to me.  All of them letting me know that they are here for me and my family. 

I also got to eat a wedding cake from the weekend with a couple of fellow workers and hear about the wedding itself; a good story of a  couple of people starting a new life with each other.  I also split lunch with the two of them just prior to that, discussing things that had transpired at work since one of them had left for vacation. 

I also was blessed to spend time with my wife.  I am sane because of the love she has for me.  It is much easier for me to care for other people and see the good in people, because of the good she sees in me.

Our family did get some bad news yesterday, but somehow the day wasn’t controled by that news. 

I guess it really was a beautiful day, and as Bono would say, “Don’t let it get away”.

I won’t let it get away God, I won’t.

…running through my mind…