Image via Wikipedia

Over the weekend, my wife and I wondered what Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birth-date really was.  We get to celebrate it on a Monday, to get a three-day weekend, but I realized that I didn’t know the real date.  It’s January 15th for anyone that cares.  While I was looking this up, I found out that he was killed just a few months into his 39th year.

Just 39 years old.

That’s how old I am, however I’m a few more months into that 39th year.  He accomplished much during those mere 39 years.  Over the weekend I wondered if there was a moment or a specific experience in his life that caused him to pursue this movement that would eventually end his life way to early.

I found an article this morning that talks about and experience one summer that appears to have changed his life, and thank God, our lives as well!

Below is the link to the article.  Learn a little more about that motivated this man.

Young King inspired by time in Conn., work on farm – Yahoo! News.

…running through my mind…

Running was the focus of this blog; what motivates me to run and what I think about when I run.  However, I have not done a lot of running over the last 7 months, so this blog is taking on a different meaning to me.  It has helped me vent a bit and express myself to the point that I come back later and get to live up to what I typed on these pages.  This has proven a wonderful release yet more so, a surprising way to look at myself in the mirror – as unsightly as that glimpse is, when your previous thoughts ”lie in wait” until you decide to re-read a post from the near past.

One of those posts was a draft that I never published.  It has waited for me to do something with it since November 15th.  I share it with you below, and I hope that I can live up to what I was thinking back then.

November 15th, 2010

Another Monday, another doctors appointment.

This time it was for what appears as a re-injury of my ACL.  An MRI is next, with a follow-up visit next week.  I didn’t know what to expect the first time around.  This time, I’m still not 100% sure, but I’ve at least got an idea.

If this turns into another surgery, I can definitely approach it in a different way.

This time around I’ll not concentrate on running, biking and participating in all kinds of sports as soon as possible; I’m going to live in the moment I’m in, not looking forward to something down the road that might never come.

This time around I believe I’ll not try to push harder than what everyone is telling me to do;  I’ll heal on my body’s time, not mine.

This Blog will go on!  I will come back to the theme of Running later, but until then, it will be about what is running through my mind during my recovery.  Thank you for reading.

…running through my mind…

When he was born, he had an Anterior Tibialis Tendon.  It started developing well before he was born and continued to develop and grow well into this person’s teenage years.  He used this muscle every day, to walk, hike, bicycle and such.  It was something he needed just to live life.

Sometime over the last several months, he died.

On December 30th I had his Anterior Tibialis Tendon implanted in my left knee to act as an ACL.  I do not know this person or his family and I probably never will, however I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am that he and those around him agreed to give his tissue.  It’s not a heart or a liver or something that I can not live without.  (There are a lot of people out there living without their ACL’s)

But it is something that I’ll never forget.

I’ll never forget that someone gave a part of themselves so that I could run, bike, walk normally, hike, get in and out of a small cockpit and vehicles normally again.

I will never forget!

…running through my mind…

I had just gotten back from an MRI; mentally I needed to get some exercise and get my mind off of the fact that I’m in need of yet another look at my knee by professionals.  Once inside the gym, I saw a friend; one that I had been pretty close to at one time for a short period.  We talked for several minutes about knee injuries and recovering from them; I met his wife for the first time; and I was able to get a good boost of positive feelings from this conversation.  He’s a very positive person.

As I worked my knee on the bike, I thought about our conversation and how things could turn out very differently than the negative way I was portraying them to now be.  The outcome of the MRI was uncertain and it scared me.

Just before he left, he pointed at me and hollered across the room, “Your kids are beautiful”, and he started to walk towards the door.  The whole room turned to look at me, all of them smiling.  My first thought was to look at them and say, “They really are”, but instead I looked back at Mark and said, “Thank you, they enjoy seeing you every week”.

I didn’t think much more about my knee the rest of the day.  I thought about my kids and my wife.  I thought about how much they mean to me and no matter how messed up my knee is, I still have them in my life.  I’m more thankful for those three kids and my beautiful wife than I ever could be for a knee.

What are you thankful for this week?

…running through my mind…

Image via Wikipedia

Sports.

When visiting an arena or stadium these days, you can tell that the thing is about the money.  Advertising is everywhere. Money, Money, Money.  I shouldn’t be surprised by the following conversation,….but I am.

I was in a discussion with an acquaintance a few days ago, and we discussed Derek Jeter getting hit by a pitch a few weeks ago.  After watching the replay, Jeter clearly did not get hit by the pitch, yet acted as though he did and was able to take first base because of his acting.  After my vehement argument against such behavior, my acquaintance was just as vehemently FOR Jeter acting like this.  He said, it’s all about the money.  You make the plays, you make the money.

Things have changed over the years.  Stadiums are now named after companies or products; there are very few left that are named after people, movements, or groups of people. Even Half-times are named after products as well. I know my Royals loose a some money – compared to other teams – by not selling the naming rights to Kauffman Stadium, however I’m happy that they do not sell those rights.  I think Ewing Kauffman contributed something great to this community and baseball and I think the Royals keep some class in baseball by not renaming the Stadium after the highest bidder.

Advertising is in almost every part of our lives any more.  Advertising drives sports, because that’s where the majority of the money comes from.  Jeter is not paid just to be a great baseball player, it is obvious now that he is also paid to be an actor.  Win at any cost; even if you have to lie (act).

I wonder how many baseball players out there think this same way?

I wonder how many think it is perfectly fine to do this; because you are supposed to win at any cost, even if what you are doing has nothing to do with sports?

I thought that after a few weeks I wouldn’t feel so strongly about this, but just the opposite.  As the baseball season comes to an end, I’m sad to know that this is what baseball – and most sports – has come to.

…running through my mind…

Fact: I have not seen him in over 21 years. 

He was a year or two ahead of me in High School. 

I remember he was always smiling. 

I was reminded this morning that he dated one of my ex-girlfriends.  

Also this morning, I had what felt like a lot on my shoulders.  I was a bit nervous; this was to be my first day to attempt running again.  I was tired; didn’t get much sleep last night.  I was not happy; I needed to get a couple of things done before 8:15 AM.  I was unsure about the future; aren’t we all at this point?  I was just not enjoying life.

John passed on, on Saturday.

He has a wife and children from what I’ve been told.  I’m sure he was a loving father and husband, as well as a son, grandson, possibly even an uncle and a cousin.  It is obvious from a friend on Facebook that he will be missed by many more than just his immediate family.  Many people will feel a loss for a long, long time.

The more I contemplate this man and what is left by his departure……I don’t have all that much on my shoulders.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all that knew and cared for John.

…running through my mind…

That was the question this week.

The surgeon that performed the ACL Surgery earlier in the summer, released me to run on Tuesday of this week.  I have been looking forward to this day for a long, long time.

Because I have a good amount of respect for my Physical Therapist, I decided to wait to run until I spoke with him directly before I took to the street or High School Track.  Figuring that getting his take on this would be in my best interest, as I definitely wanted his guidance on how to start my running regime

Image by Susan NYC via Flickr

His advice was to not start running for a few more weeks. Truthfully I expected this, but it felt good for a day or two to imagine that I’d be running again shortly.  I was not all that torn up with the prospect of waiting for another few weeks to start running.

Why is that?

I had looked forward to running again since my injury date, June 6th.  Yet when I am advised to wait a few more weeks, It’s OK.

Am I learning Patience?

Did a part of my “Running Spirit” die over the last few months?

Is acquiescing to others becoming easier for me?

Am I scared; I do not want to hurt myself again?

I am not sure which one – or combination – of  those questions above is more telling of where I’m at in life.

What I do know: I will not run for a few more weeks and I’m fine with that.  Running is clearly not what I’m looking at as the “finish line” here.  I’m not sure what the “finish line” is – if there even is one – but it is clearly not running.

What is your finish line?  Do you have one?

…running through my mind…

A couple hours of my day honestly surprised me today.

This morning I met a friend for coffee and a quick breakfast.  We had made plans last week to meet and discuss some stuff we had briefly exchanged views on.  Because of this previous huddle, I figured that I knew what we are going to talk about.

I really should not “figure” on situations like this.

The first half hour was catching up on his children and an exploration of his family’s summer vacation.  Soon the conversation turned to a book that we have both read, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”, by Donald Miller.

I gained much from this conversation.

Here is what I gained:

• there are many different parts of any endeavor and if any of those parts are missing, there will be failure
• many times in order to see your dream realized you have to give it up and let it become someone else’s dream or morph into someone else’s dream or vision
• there isn’t a whole lot in life you can accomplish all by yourself

As the day went on, as usual, I forgot about our conversation until I sat down after dinner and reminisced on the morning.  I gained much and I’m glad I had a chance tonight to sit down and get those thoughts onto something that will be be more permanent than my mind.

The next time someone asks you for coffee and you think you know what the discussion will be about, I invite you to go into it with no assumptions.

When was the last time life surprised you?

…running through my mind…

A mere 17 posts this year, thus far.

The reason for me to start blogging was to hone my skills at communicating in the written realm.  I had this idea that an Aviation Safety Blog would be a great way to start conversations on different ideas on how to address many of the issues we face in Aviation and the Safety concerns at are intertwined.  I have started the Aviation Safety Blog, but I have not found the energy and/or the spirit to delve into what we are really facing in Aviation Safety.  My main reason is that Safety starts with the person in the mirror and I find very few Aviators that are willing to look in the mirror and admit their faults and failures and do something about their disappointments and deficiencies.  Because of my inability to have an open dialog with many pilots, mechanics, and the such, I decided to delve into myself and what motivates me and talk about what gets me to thinking.

Running looked like a good place to start.

Running is as much (if not more so) a mental diversion and release as it is a physical sport to me.  Running allows me to get my mind wrapped around something I could not do by sitting behind a desk or the wheel of a car.

This Blog has caused me to document what is on my mind and the ways that I think through many items in my life.  This Blog become something very different from its original purpose. Is there anything in our lives that end the way we originally planned?

Thank you for reading these paltry 17 posts this year.  As I continue to be inspired, you’ll be the first to know.

Right here!

…running through my mind…

My Aunt offered up that recovering from something like this is like having another job.

I have to agree with her.

The first week was just trying to keep the pain under control and get my muscles to wake up from the trauma that they experienced during the surgery and then the confusion they must have felt when they spent several days not being used.   The pain during those first few days were the worst I’ve ever experienced.  I have not had numerous surgeries and I don’t think I’m accident prone, but I have had a deviated septum surgery; the tip of a finger (with the bone) cut off and reattached; and all four wisdom teeth pulled with a local and three of them impacted and then dry socket two days later.  Up until a month ago, the dry socket was the worst.  ACL surgery tops that by a long shot.

The second week, I actually went back to work in the office and proceeded to get a gastro-intestinal bug that stuck with me for 5 days along with my youngest daughter (my boy had it a couple of days earlier).  I spent many, many hours in the recliner with my daughter on the couch watching Disney Channel.  The worst of the Gastro days was my birthday too, and my wifes birthday.  Happy Birthday!!!

The third week I was up and walking without crutches but with a noticeable limp.  I also went to the Simulator to get some recurrent training on the plane that I fly.  Everything went just fine in the Simulator.  I was very exhausted each night, but the leg was starting to feel better.

The fourth week, Physical Therapy really kicked my back side.  The pain seemed to stay with me throughout the day.  At times, the pain was so bad that I could not sit still.  I could feel myself starting down the road of depression.  No matter what I did, the knee and my muscles just wouldn’t feel better, the pain would not leave.  (The pain would leave for a while after my wife massaged the upper and lower muscles in my leg)

Here in my fifth week, I feel like I’ve taken a turn.  A good portion of yesterday was pain free and today has been the same other than an hour or so.  My Physical Therapy today went very well, and I got many more minutes of some cardiovascular work today as well.

I’m beginning to be happy with my progression.  I’m also happy with the other opportunities that this has lighted up in front of me.

I can now get on a machine (elliptical trainer) and not get bored.  I can now see the advantages of stretching.  I can now feel the difference in letting my muscles rest, but not for too long.  I can also feel what it is like to work some other muscles that I have neglected for too long.

I can also feel some hope right now, when just a few days ago I didn’t seem to have any at all.

And it truly has been a second job.

…running through my mind…